The Onion’s Tips For New College Graduates: Full Report
The one, the only, the wonder that is Mel Brooks is on the show today. I listened to the interview Friday and, well, I laughed and I cried. When he...
I Am Root Beer
Hey Everybody, here is the short film we made from that Kickstarter awhile back. This is the first time it is available for...

Is this the Heindberg Theory again?
- No.
There’s no way the jockey with the most aggressive face always wins.
- All right, you were right. I’ve accepted that now, thank you.
(via hahahanooope)
[Regarding teammate Richard Fleeshman.]
Noel Fielding: Honestly, if you diss him one more time… I’ll slash you up.
Kristen Schaal: I’m gonna watch!
Noel Fielding: I’m gonna give you a Chinese burn, and then Kristen’s gonna pour…
Simon Amstell: Pot noodle on me? Yeah, go on!
Noel Fielding: Cream soda, this time.
Simon Amstell: And then dragons are going to fly in and put bubbles in my head? Is that how it works? You just say funny words and it works, does it? Just throw out weird words - hippopotamus and juggling - is that what it is? Anyone can do that! I’ve got fact-based jokes!
Noel Fielding: Don’t make me cut the stuffing out of your pillow.
Simon Amstell: With a pair of scissors made of glitter?
Noel Fielding: [matter-of-factly] No! With a motorbike made of jealousy!