March 2012
Mom: They gave your sister a heart monitor.
Me: Drama queen. She doesn't need a heart monitor. The doctor probably just taped a pedometer to her chest.
February 2012
1 tag
Petition Spike TV to stop the glorification of... →
archaeology:
This show, as advertised by Spike TV
..will follow a team “led by former professional wrestler-turned-modern- day relic hunter Ric Savage as they scour … battlefields and historic sites, in hopes of striking it rich by unearthing and selling rare pieces of American history.”
“American Diggers,” as described, encourages and glorifies looting and the antiquities trade at the...
“I quit the tennis team in high school because I wanted to go to the fair with...”
– my sister reminiscing while eating tacos
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
a multihour conversation about hobbits
me: theres a guy in my history of mexico class that looks like a hobbit
but not elijah wood or martin freeman hobbit
just like, random town folk hobbit
'haven't I seen you around the shire?' hobbit
justinne: like one of those hobbits frodo only knew in passing from the shire
or the "that guy always waves at me but I don't know who he is exactly" hobbit
me: generic hobbit
(later on in the day)
justinne: I thought about generic hobbit's life and imagined him working some 9-5 mundane hobbit job like gathering wood or something and then coming home to smoke one of those awesome long hobbit pipes
me: giving passersby disapproving looks
justinne: and wishing he'd said hi to that girl hobbit he saw earlier
me: wasted hobbit opportunities
3 tags
Oh LACMA, sometimes I really love you.
Professor: How did you find it?
Me: Terrifically depressing.
Professor: That's one review for King Leopold's Ghost I have not heard before.
2 tags
1 tag
This weekend I have to read three books, write an essay response (to what I can’t remember), and start a research paper (even though I really want to turn in the same research paper I did last semester because it fits the criteria exactly).
Since I woke up this morning all I’ve been trying to do is come up with classic literature/food puns.
I have been up for three hours.
2 tags
its got to be a vagina
edit: IT TOTALLY IS! WITH A HAND IN IT!
Him: Well I think that its important that everyone gets the chance to vote.
Professor: EVEN BABIES?! (laughs) Oh god, I'm sorry guys, I just love saying that.
2 tags
Remember that time I ran across my school library to the sales books because I was genuinely afraid someone else would buy these before I could get to them?
1 tag
“So I passed out at a Civil War reenactment over the weekend.”
– I don’t want to hear about anyone else’s weekend ever again because it won’t be able to top this.
her: I think purple suits you.
me: I really don’t want to invite further Grimace comparisons.
2 tags
“Does this mean I can give up now?”
This is a thought I had after opening a letter from my school informing me that I had achieved academic excellence for my GPA, denoted by a lovely certificate (that is now lodged between my bookcase and the wall and there its going to stay because I’ll be damned if I move it and it falls on me again).
2 tags
10 tags
Tonight's Feature:
Is this the Heindberg Theory again? - No. There’s no way the jockey with the most aggressive face always wins. - All right, you were right. I’ve accepted that now, thank you.
last night’s chicken wings in this morning’s breakfast quesadilla
Her: How are you today?
Me: I don't know, I'm kind of in a funk.
Her: You know what I do when I feel that way?
Me: What?
Her: Google Dog the Bounty Hunter's children's names. Because why not, you know?
4 tags
Me: I just want to take all the sleeping pills.
Mom: You can't.
Me: Why because its bad for me?
Mom: No, well yeah, but also we only have one left.
“you did me a real solid by telling me about toddlers in tiaras on instant”
texts from my sister about important things
11 tags
Tonight's Feature:
…The tradition of militia paintings that you so carefully broke was a true and honest tradition, where the participants can say, “Look, we are being painted. Look, we understand that we are being watched, and we’re looking straight at you, into your eyes, at you, to prove it. We are not real, we are in a painting.” That’s what they understood, and that is what they wanted. You have spoiled...
I’ve stayed home the past few days because I wasn’t feeling well and I wanted to catch up on reading.
pages read: 16
movies watched: 8
naps taken: 3
Dr. Katz: I was seventeen years old, I couldn't stand living at home anymore-
Ben: Here we go.
Dr. Katz: - and I moved into the first available place. I come home two nights later: crabs.
Ben: Really?
Dr. Katz: Yeah. I had crabs from this mattress.
Ben: You can't get crabs from a mattress, can you?
Dr. Katz: If there's a hooker on it. HEYO!
Ben: HOLD ON CHICO!